Wednesday, June 3, 2009

In Touch

*Don't Stop Me Now! - Queen*

(Knock Knock Knock) {Door opens}: Excuse me; One minute. . . (waving finger).

(Knock Knock Knock) [Door opens]: Excuse me; One minute . . . (waving finger).

(Knock Knock Knock) . . . . (Knock Knock Knock) . . . . (Knock Knock Knock) . . . . - . . . . - . . . .

"He's not home! What do you want?!?!"

Are you sure - I thought I heard a television turn off. (Knock Knock Knock) {Door Opens}: I KNEW IT!! HA HA Youuuu! (I turn and mockingly point at the man who dared to question me).

Okay. Now that you are all gathered together in the hallway. I. Am Eskimo Bob. I have this Blog see. And - DON'T YOU SHUT THAT DOOR! Sorry I didn't mean to scream. And I'm here to tell you a little bit about it.

You see - I've taken a trip into the Cyberspace. And I'm leaving it all out there. [Yes . . . that's why I'm not wearing any pants.]

*Don't Stop Me Now - Queen*

(Inside a rundown apartment with my new friends: Hayzues, Arnold, Patty and Bart)

Boy - if my mom could see me now. . . I haven't hung out with a Latino AND a Black person at the same time! Patty - what ethnicity are you?

"I have a little Italian in me . . . (Shifts her weight - then I notice Zanipolo)"

"Hayy BuhoB - Welcome!" Zanipolo says.

"I have no idea what's in me - I guess I'm just a mutt mix." Patty laments.

Patty - it's alright. A lot of people are mixes now. It's hard to find someone who is truly a pure blood anymore. I myself am the product of cross-cultural love.

"I think this topic is getting too familiar and you're kind of creeping me out. Especially since you don't have pants on."

"Ohla Arnold - stop stealing my hairnets!" yells Hayzues.

"You acting all cuhrazy - donchu be accusationing me about stealing no hairnets!" [Slipping hairnet over head].

Please - please. Let's not have things get out of control. We're all minorities here. . . except for Bart.

[Slowly every eye turns to Bart. Who is grabbing handfuls of chips and storing them in plastic baggies.]

"What? Hey - I brought some Paul Simon singing African Songs."

*Don't Stop Me Now - Queen*


darsden said...

LOL too funny... I would point a few things out...but I won't and leave it at that...hilarious!

aworgill said...

I am a mutt, but I wish I had something more "ethnic" in the mix. As long as it's not gypsy.

DangGina said...

I feel sad for you sometimes...

My favorite line? "we're all minorities here...except for Bart"

heh heh...

Brent said...

Aaron, since when is Anglo-Nordic not a minority? outside of Utah, it's kind of considered weird. I personally am proud of my mutt heritage.

Anonymous said...

(I turn and mockingly point at the man who dared to question me).

I could just picture that in my mind...and Bart stuffing the chips in the baggies.

Hilarious EB!

If I wasn't laughing so much...I'd be horrified.


Silly Boy!
Nice shameless plug at Pearl's place!

Obscure Hole said...

You're a racist piece of shit! Someone should put a noose around your neck and let you dangle and see what it's like!

Again learn to write - what a waste - you think you are so damn funny, well you're just a FUCKING no talent hack who stares at little boys.

How DARE you put a picture of the LORD and SAVIOR on there and then pretend that you are in HIS Likeness! I'm 100% Sure that if our dear LORD and Savior were down here He'd kick your fucking ass!

I hope that you die!