Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Episode 200

I've known the Squaw was a very unique individual for quite some time. I was taken from the first time I met her - however over the last few weeks I've come to appreciate that she is perhaps more evolved than most people.

I don't think it comes as a major surprise to you folks that I own and use an iPhone. It's been a wonderful addition to the family and has been well worth the cost as its value exceeds anything I can associate with value. Several weeks ago - I added an application of a Dog Whistle to help with the training of our near perfect dog. I started using the dog whistle - the dog didn't notice, the kids didn't notice, the in-laws didn't notice - but the Squaw. . . she started acting all weird and looking all over, pacing and getting quite agitated until she finally burst and said: Do you guys hear THAT!?!? What the heck is it?

I was oblivious to the connection - but I stopped the whistle and all was good in the world again. . . then I turned it back on. I increased the pitch of the whistle thinking that the Salacious one would then notice it - Nothing. But the Squaw again went ballistic, grabbing her ears and darn near screaming: You guys don't hear that?!?!

Still oblivious - I increased the pitch once more. Nothing from the dog - and the Squaw was as feral as my ancestors of eons ago. Scratching at her ears, tearing out clumps of hair, gnashing of teeth and wild eyes of anger: What is going on!?!? You've got to be hearing this!

I started to catch on. I would then do morse code with the whistle. The squaw was then on the hunt. . . and then she got locked on to me and the iPhone. It was amazing her sense of hearing - the dog was still oblivious to it and no one else had any idea what I was doing. I thought it was quite amusing - the Squaw did not.

Today - I was playing the Wii with the oldest and the Boy Second was standing in the kitchen while the Squaw was at the table working on some crafts. She stopped working - was silent for a moment and observed us boys - and the dog was resting soundly on the floor:

"Did you feel that?" she asked.

"No." was all of our reply (including the awake but restful dog).

"I think we just had an earthquake." the Squaw said.

"I didn't feel anything./Me neither./ Whoah cool - I think I felt something (boy the second said trying to fit in with the Squaw)."

"Check the cyberspace." the Squaw directed.

I assured her that there was not an earthquake and we would've noticed if the friggin' earth was moving beneath our feet.

Well - there was an earthquake. It was about 50 miles north of us and a magnitude 5 point something.

So - the Squaw has some hightened sensory perception of things. I don't know about you - but I'm getting a foreboding feeling about this. I'm gonna try to find a way to exploit it and get some moolah out of it - I'm accepting any ideas.


willow said...

Sounds like a powerful dog whistle. Are you sure it didn't cause the earthquake?

You had me going there with the first line of your comment on my post. Thanks for the laughs!:D

DangGina said...

Do you actually think exploiting her will get you anywhere? That feeling of foreboding is there for a reason, Bob.

Also, I love that you call the internet "the cyberspace." Heh heh...

Rocksee said...

Your sure theres no iPhone app for earthquakes right?

Pearl said...

Actually, that is quite impressive! Stick close to her...