Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Interpretive Dance

The computer was really acting up last night. I didn't even use it all day - perhaps that's where the problem lay. Here we are, it's Tuesday - Armpit of the week. First full day with the squaw gone - this is where we are feral and do manly things. This is Eskimo Bob Lives. The blog with the Eskimostest.

So: today's not really a re-post, but today is not really original material either. I'm compiling the various comments I've left and put them together in no specific order. Enjoy....

SUCK IT UP. I mean you have one job to do; get the kid smart. You even get paid to get the kids smart. One job. Really.

I mean - you should really just be happy to have a job. No - I'm not talking about the economy; it's being a woman and having a job. Though teaching seems to be more maternal - I think if we just had dudes teaching classes then the kids would be that much more better at learning stuff.

Parents main responsibility is to just pump out as many kids as possible. We haven't heard the 'Populate the Earth' recanted yet. The responsibility to teach kids was abdicated once you accepted that first paycheck.

Make your job easier - puhleez. I think you dropped this (hands back a rag).

Why should my kid have to pay for your lack of getting your work done during the day with this 'homework'? And when will they actually do this reeding? I don't even know what you do with a reed.

By the way - loved the cookies at the Parent Teacher conference. I know I didn't show up on time - and just ate the cookies and left. But I think I got a good handle on what they do in skool. You're doing great.

I especially liked the part when he was having "the talk" with his 13 year old. It was totally awkward, because - as you know - Adams Jr. had been "loving" Cornelia, the sow, for about two weeks before "the talk".

It was handled beautifully, with some of the best writing a screenplay ever had. Excerpt:

John Adams: Son, your mother expressed some concern in regard to your education regarding carnal knowledge.

John Q. Adams: Father. I ******* Cornelia.

Driving in fog is probably the worst experience. Make it ice fog, and it's even worse. One of the deadliest car accidents we've had here was a 12 car accident due to heavy fog on the bridge.

The inversion in SLCounty is horrible. You and Steve should get those air masks and walk around like the Chinese.

What's ronery?

When I was courting Amber - or maybe we were already married - who knows it was over 10 years ago anyhow. We went to the Logan zoo. . . or rather the Logan animal holding place.

There was an enclosure - and the placard said that the animal inside was a 'Paccoon'.

"What the heck is a paccoon? I asked.

"I have no idea. Where's it from?" Amber retorted.

"It says North America - I've never heard of a paccoon. What does it eat?" I wondered.

"It's an omnivore - it eats bugs and vegetation and small rodents." Amber read.

"Huh. HERE PACCOON! COME OUT PACCOON! PACCOON PACCOON PACCOON!!" I bellered.

Amber starts laughing hysterically -

I look to see what she's laughing at.

"What the heck is a Raccoon doing in the Paccoon ..."

You will be dragged back to Rexburg - after all your husband will be from there, and you'll end up becoming a Rexburgian who has to drive to Idaho Falls, and you'll enjoy watching grasshoppers, and light reflecting of cd's hanging from the rearview mirror.


Being of superior intellect, I needed to just read the first characters of your bloviation to surmise the intention of your post.

Seeing that you decided to capitalize every letter in the word 'rocks', while having every letter of the preceding word 'read' in all lower case, leads to the solution that you truly feel that reading science fiction based "literature" is anti-authoritarian and supporting the cause of African-American freedom.

What is unclear, although circumstantially relevant, is that you may in fact disdain the actual practice of reading. As reading is a multidimensional cognitive process of decoding symbols for the purpose of deriving meaning and/or constructing meaning. Several points in your declaration you mention you prefer having outside sources, events, and outcomes be the reason of your reading.

Conversely, since you did capitalize all the letters in 'rocks', you may be referring to the meaning that the act of reading brings you pleasure equitable to the event known as the Rapture. Hence the ambiguity.

In conclusion: it is quite clear that the evidence shows you enjoy the escapism of Science Fiction, and have had deep, repressed feelings of guilt and shame as you brought ridicule upon those who have found the same joy in the genre of science fiction. It is quite elementary my dear Gina; not only shall you continue to enjoy the genre of science fiction, but must make amends with those you've ridiculed, and even accept that date with Kip. Even if he wears 'BattleStar Galactica' t-shirts a size too small and has french fry remnants in his beard.


I didn't realize that you enjoyed that so much - it was fun for me too. . . heh heh heh. (sigh) {ext: london fog filled banks of the Thames river} I do believe that you are making me blush - that's not an easy feat.

Oh, stop it!

{exuberant laughter}

Let's go splash our toes in the water.

(sigh)


- Find a place to post this -

5 comments:

darsden said...

SEEE Winded!! Read kinda... LOL

Fed YOUR Kids...Amber asked us to remind You!

Good Googly Moogly where do you come up with all of this?

DangGina said...

How long did this take you, Bob? A few of those look real familiar...

aworgill said...

Truly your madness knows no bounds. But as to what "ronery" means, it's the Korean pronounciation of "lonely," as demonstrated in the movie Team America: World Police. There is a song called "I'm So Ronery" sung by Kim Jong Il. Highly offensive, but the creators of South Park have never been exactly tactful. It's also highly hilarious. You can hear it on my blog if you turn on the sound.

DangGina said...

PS I nominated you back for Uber Amazing Blog...just so you know; you've been nominated TWICE.

Amber said...

Thank you, darsden, for the food reminder. It truely takes a village to raise my children. (Albeit a virtual village, if you will)