Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mystery Unraveled Pt. 1

Ok - so the faithful have spoken. I actually contemplated leaving the post up for a few days just to make sure everyone was able to make their peace. Then - almost as if Lord Heron of the Tundra Geese swooped down and pooped on my shoulder, I realized. I realized. I realized that I would go ahead and do whatever it is I want, and the majority of you will be well pleased.

It's not prideful, just a matter of fact.

To the right, your left, is a picture of a contact lens. When I was in the 5th grade (circa 1985) I received the unfortunate news that my vision was starting to fail. The reason I was getting headaches and lower grades were due to the fact that I needed glasses. Oh the agony.

How was my "girlfriend" Erica going to take the news? How could I accessorize my Members Only jacket with the coke-rimmed glasses I was sure that I was going to wear? What would this spell for my future successes?

Well - immediately I was dumped by Erica. I wore my cool Members Only jacket, and found out that I was no longer a member. But I could read what Mrs. Hall was writing on the board - and I became friends with Ben, who ate the glue (in FIFTH GRADE).

Yes - eyeglasses were the bane of my existence. Push-ups in gym class? Forget it. Coming in from the cold? Blind for three minutes and the focus of conversation. This went on right up to my sophomore year (circa 1990) in high school. This is when I was introduced to the Contact Lens.

The whole world opened back up to me. Life was good. However - upon my first follow-up visit with the Optometrist it was suggested that I may not be a good candidate for Contact Lenses for some reason. This lead to me not going in to the eye doctor for the next decade of my life. . . thank goodness for direct mail prescriptions.

So - I may be able to extrapolate and expound on what makes me tick regarding this; I'm not a shrink - I just do. Deal with it.

Fast forward to 2002ish. . . give or take a year. I was on a business trip into the big city Anchorage. One evening I went down to the pool and went for a swim. As I was finishing one of my last laps - I lost my contact lens. In the pool - I thought for a second that I could find it, but after five minutes of futility I realized that it was lost and gone forever. I was pissed.

I changed - went back to my room. Opened the yellow pages and found a Lasik Eye Doctor. I called them up and said I wanted the surgery done now.

Never mind that I hadn't gone in to be tested. Nevermind that I didn't talk it over with my wife. Nevermind that instead of getting on the phone and spending $30 to get a new contact lens that I was willing to shell out $3,000 per eye. What's a little deficit? I wanted Lasik - and I wanted it now.

Needless to say I didn't get Lasik that night. But I did end up getting it shortly afterward. My eyesight is now better than perfect - I can wake up in the middle of the night and see. I don't have to worry about losing a contact lens - or having to put on those darn glasses again, for the moment. So there's a little tidbit into myself. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves or place an insight to let me know what you're thinking.

I think I covered all the bases. Oh - and there is an Easter Egg in this post. It will lead you to the picture I originally wanted to use, but decided to be more user friendly to the masses.


willow said...

I'm still doing the contact thing and reading glasses on top of those. I need Lasik in the worst way.

Eskimo Bob said...

Willow - It's amazing what LASIK can do, especially now they have an incision free procedure where your cornea doesn't need to be sliced and lifted. I'm hoping to have these "bionic" eyes for some time.

Amber said...

The picture was disgusting! I so wish I hadn't looked for it.