Saturday, February 7, 2009

Family Game Night

So earlier, my oldest said that he wanted to start incorporating Family Game Night into our schedules. We put our calendars together and decided that Friday nights would work best.

The boys were very excited and waiting patiently (not so much) with bated breath of anticipation for our Friday night activities. I assured them that it was scheduled and that it would be a lot of fun.

I had prepared the events and knew what would lead to a night of frivolity and build a life long memory. Yes - I am in contention for 'Best. Dad. Ever.' When trying to meet the expectations of the night I looked back to treasured memories of my past and the example that my father gave to me.

So the evening of Friday arrived and we gathered together for Family Game Night. I gathered everyone into the living room and declared that Eskimo Bob's Psychological Game Night was about to begin. I then went into my bedroom and took a nap for 45 minutes. Once I got back and they weren't playing, of course I went ballistic and said how they were ruining Family Game Night. (Eskimo Bob: 1, Rest of Family: 0) - that round was the "Corner" game.

Round two was the "Wooden Leg" game: for those who are not familiar with this game I will benevolently share with you. (
This game elicits sympathy and is used as an excuse for failing to become responsible or independent. In effect, the game player asks, "What do you expect of a wooden leg?" The "wooden leg" may be a personality deficiency, a physical handicap, or an unstable past. For example, the parent asks, "How do you expect me to be patient with kids? I have a short temper." Or the person who drinks too much asks, "What do you expect from someone whose parents were heavy drinkers?") After everyone dried their tears and was asking why I was behaving this way I replied: 'How can you expect me to play without having a nap.?!?You know how hard I work.' EB: 2 Family: 0

Round Three was "Crazy Making". I knew that I excel in this area and knew that I was going to make a sweep of the best 3 out of 5. Again for you folks who don't know (which is probably everyone) -
"Crazy making" refers to a variety of maneuvers used to make a partner doubt his or her sanity or to send a partner "up the wall." The crazy maker gains power over the victim. Many variations of Crazy making are possible:
Denying the feeling the partner can clearly see ("If you don't know what's wrong, what's the use in telling you?").
Denying something that has been discussed and agreed upon or insisting on adherence to exact wording. ("I never agreed to go out of town THIS weekend.")
Building up hopes and then shattering them without an acceptable reason. (After hinting they will go out, the parent later says "Why are you dressed to go out? Are you going somewhere? I've changed my mind - don't nag about it.")
Attributing vicious motives to another ("Where did you hide my socks this time?" "You conveniently forgot to make reservations, didn't you?")
Ignoring the other person's wishes. The person who just cannot be on time, or the person who continues an annoying mannerism after being asked to stop, or the child who will not pick up toys or dirty clothes.
Seeing a hidden psychological significance in every action. "People who choose cats for pets are introverted." "Your body language tells me that you're sexually repressed."

So - it was down to wire. "So why isn't everyone in bed? You know it's past your bedtime." (But there's no school tomorrow! You said we could stay up late playing games!) "Well fun's over - it's time to grow up." (Eskimo Bob - we promised the kids.) "I never promised them, it's not my fault that you can't keep your word, or that you give half promises."

Tears were shed - and no one has said a word today. Sweet sweet victory.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for visiting Bob.

Bob is unavailable right now as he has lost his mind from the stress of destroying family game night...

At the tone, please leave a detailed message and when his sanity returns, or he has completed at least one game of 'Sorry!' with his kids, he'll get back to you.

Thank You!



Steven M. Adami said...

Good evening Robert,

This is Steve. I was just checking in to see how you're doing. I don't know if we went over it last time I called, but please make sure you refill the perscription. I'm very concerned. Anyway...oh, and I couldn't find that movie you suggested so I rented a few others instead. OK. Talk to you later.

Pearl said...

Oh, Eskimo Bob, you TOTALLY won game night!