Thursday, May 7, 2009

I feel terrible . . .

Cold sweats. . . high fever . . . uncontrollable shaking and trembling. . .wanting to cough - but too weak . . . my body hurts . . . my eyes water . . . my joints feel like they're going to fall off. . . I don't want to breath - because it makes my chest move. . . WHY - WHY - Did I take that bet to drink the pond water?!?!?

The declaration of being the baddest man on the planet wasn't worth it. . . especially from . . . from someone named Ramsey. Why did I let you talk me into it Ramsey? I didn't know who you were even two weeks ago - but you come into my life. Take me out to lunches - tell me how cool you think I am. . . tell me how funny I am - gradually increase the asinine things we do from:

  • Telling the drive-in window order taker - 'Can I get a "HELL YEAH" when they ask - "Is there anything else you would like?"
  • Change my voicemail from: "I'm either on the phone or with a client" to "I'm either on a client or with a phone".
  • Give myself Kool-Aid tattoos then go up to someone and tell them "I'm from the street - check out my ink to check my cred."
  • Volunteer at an Old Folks Home and give talks focused on death and the dying process - while having a countdown clock running behind me.

I feel terrible . . .

8 comments:

DangGina said...

ha ha ha! perhaps i shouldn't be laughing so heartily at this, but i totally am!

feel better, bob...

DangGina said...

PS SCARY pic of Ignatius over there...

Rocksee said...

Bob.. you are the funniest guy I know.


And seriously when I read the first paragraph I thought you were going to say you had the swine flu

elohssanatahw said...

Kool-Aid tattoos, I'm gonna try that one. Great pictures of Iggy, looks like he's doing the opera in the side bar.

Steven M. Adami said...

The downward spiral continues.

Sweet Cheeks said...

I'm sorry you're sick Bob!

And 'on a client'...made me spit out my diet coke...

Thanks for the burning in my nose now...

;-)

aworgill said...

You have inspired me. I resolve to increase my asininity (is that a word?), effective immediately, starting with the drive-thru.

Amanda said...

Thanks for the drive thru tip. I'm totally going to try that next time through.